


Psych trip

by stellamedii



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Gen, Main character has schizoaffective disorder, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:35:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26125858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellamedii/pseuds/stellamedii
Summary: An episode of schizoaffective disorder.
Kudos: 4





	Psych trip

“Get the fuck out, Vanitas!” The child snapped as tears stung at his eyes. He didn’t let them show, instead forcing Vanitas’ attention to the door he so rudely pointed out. 

Vanitas huffed, but with tears stinging at his own eyes, he couldn’t help but agree with his brother no matter how heart broken he was about it. Starting off to leave the home, Vanitas looked up a last time to meet eyes with Ven’s stern and disapproving glare. A whimper broke from the ravenette, but Ventus failed to aid in it or even stop him as he finally did force himself out of the house as he wiped away tears.

Finally alone, Ven looked to the ceiling. It was plain, but his eyes locked on a spot that just felt right. Something had to be there, even if he couldn’t see it.

“Now you can’t hurt Vanitas, you fuck.” The boy spat. “You can’t use me to hurt him anymore because he’s gone.” Gone? Was it forever? He was pretty harsh and the look in Vanitas’ eye said as much. Maybe he should apologize. No, he couldn’t, it barred the doors.

“Vanitas!” The boy cried as tears fell from his eyes. He reached out for the door only to recoil. Instead of beckoning for Vanitas, Ventus’ gaze turned to horror as he looked upon his tainted fingers. They got too close. They were infected now. 

Panic worthy, but it was alright. He’d peel the disease off. Something in the kitchen maybe. 

Bringing his hand close to his chest and clutching it in the healthy one, Ven headed off towards the kitchen. It was spreading so he wasted no in grabbing the potato peeler. Bringing it along the blue spreading tattoo, Ventus began peeling the taint off. It hurt a lot, but he carried on out of desperation to free himself. Even his nails were peeled off with a bit of struggle and hissing, but he managed, dropping them and the stripped skin to the ground. 

It wasn’t stopping though, it was spreading faster and faster. He couldn’t keep up. Not with what he currently held. He needed something bigger. So he tossed the bloodied peeler on the counter and reached for the butcher knife. That should work right? 

Nevertheless, he had to get to work. It was spreading along his chest and stomach, an area he was already typically displeased with. That sentiment wasn’t there at the current time however. All that matter was escaping what was enveloping him. Scary. Terrifying. It wouldn’t stop.

Maybe he was going about it wrong though. Maybe the lines and swirls were a guide. A guide to the true infection. The tattoo was pretty after all, and made extravagant patterns that he took to tracing with his knife, following each swirl and etching into it rather heavily. 

Following it was relaxing honestly. Until It moved up his body, passed where he could see. He had to follow it so he relocated, moving his bleeding form up the stairs and towards the bathroom all while an ever thickening trail of crimson followed his every move. 

“Follow it.” The boy mumbled to himself over and over as his gaze unfocused. It was alright though, he didn’t need help getting to the bathroom so even without direct sight, he made it. And once there, he looked in the mirror. The design trailed up and into his ears. He brought the knife up initially, but seeing the hulking thing against a small ear, Ventus decided against it. He needed something smaller. 

Where though?

His gaze was drawn up as the pattern that infested him, rose and spread along the mirror. Right, he could use that. 

The small blond brought the knife up and slammed it against the glass. It cracked, but it wasn’t enough so he slammed again. And again until the shards fell from their base. There were still large pieces like his knife, but there were small ones too, and a long slivered one is the one he picked up, gripping it tightly and etching it into his skin. That would work, so he brought it up, tracing the lines on the outside of his ear at first. The lines went into though so he had to follow them. Follow all of them. That’ll make it go away. It was like a puzzle from one of his games. 

Ven brought the glass up and away from his head before thrusting it in, jamming the shard painfully into his ear. The high pitched screech along with his own screams hurt. So so much. There was still more to do though. While tears fell from his huffing and whimpering form, Ventus switched hands. Mirror now in the opposite, he braced himself a moment before repeating the action. It hurt so much, but he couldn’t hear his screams anymore. Was he screaming? He couldn’t tell anymore. 

_ “See, it worked.”  _ The boy heard among the screeching in his ears.  _ “Now keep going.” _

Right, there was more to do. His chest and stomach showed the same signs so he brought the shard down and lifted his shirt and hooding up and over his head to get a better look and for more overall access. The swirling snake markings were easily to drag the glass across, digging it deeper depending on how wide the marking was. Easy.

Now there was one left, where the snake all met on his stomach. Those were traced as well. Did that mean he got them all? He followed it all the way from the tips of his fingers so it had to be. They didn’t go away though, and he was starting to feel pretty dizzy, bringing him to sit against his cabinet. 

_ “You’re not done yet.”  _ The voice beckoned again.  _ “Finish it and it’ll leave.” _

Heavily, Ventus nodded. He swapped out the shard for the knife as it was easier to hold, though his grip still wavered and slackened. He tightened it, bringing his uninjured hand up to brace his grip further and eventually thrust the blade into his stomach where right between all the snakes. It was a blinding pain that left his grip slacking further until he lost the grip entirely. 

He gasped, breathing heavily as his mind tried to keep up with his actions. The marks were gone, but what’d he just do? It hurt. It was scary. He needed help. 

But really, he just wanted to sleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> Pretty much my reasoning for Ven being deaf in all my works. It's a miracle he can still use a hearing aid after this. He probably shouldn't be able to but I typically chalk it up to either magic helped him or doctors helped at least a little.


End file.
